So, I've been looking at how my life has changed over the years. Not just as in I've gotten older and married, but how I have changed as a person. My outlook has changed dramatically in the last few years. I've learned that the world isn't as bleak as it may seem, that it is okay to ask for help, that the world isn't out to hurt me. I still have trouble trusting people, and I still take people's opinions more seriously than I should. I've grown spiritually, and I feel truly at peace with some decisions I have made.
Some beliefs I held as a teenager and young adult are beliefs I wish I still could hold. However, I feel that I liked the idea of believing them more than I actually believed them. I still do. I just... I think now I feel that it is naive of me to still hold those beliefs. I think they were things I needed at the time. Those beliefs made me feel more in control of my life, more like I meant something. Those beliefs truly helped me at that time. I didn't really question things, but now I am. I couldn't find answers, so I moved towards beliefs that held answers. I've gone back and forth so much over the years. I would research and research, and anytime I would find things that didn't make sense, I would move on. I think I have finally found belief in something that makes sense thus far. I have never felt this in tune with God and this at peace with my life. It's a nice feeling.
It's just interesting to see how we change...
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