I knew a girl who hated the world...

It's been hectic. I've been behind in every class, and pretty much losing my mind on the friend front. At this moment I should be doing a biology lab which I have to take a quiz on by midnight, or studying Spanish, which I have a quiz on Monday, and everyone is depending on me to know the material so I can go over everything with them. I've just been stressed.

I got a "C" on my history test, which pisses me off. Granted, most of the class got about the same grade, but still... If I would have put effort into actually studying and taking better notes, I would have done so much better. I don't know why my grades mean so much more to me now than they did in high school... Maybe it's because last semester showed me what I am capable of. Or maybe it's because I am paying for the classes. Or maybe I'm just crazy...

I haven't been feeling great lately, go figure. I don't care about that, not really. Despite feeling like crap, anytime Richard asks to hang out I say sure. Which sucks because I am miserable the entire time. Twice, we could have stayed out longer, but he wanted to go home because HE wasn't feeling well. That will play a role in a bit. Anyhow, I got a text from Richard last night about Karen and all of her bullshit. At the end he asked if we could hang out this weekend. I said I wasn't completely sure. Friday (today) I was going to clean up, get caught up in classes, and sleep because I still don't feel hot. Saturday I promised Andrea it would be just her and I because we are going out for her birthday. Sunday night i previously planned to study Spanish with Alissa once she got off of work. If we did anything it would have to be Sunday day.
R: Mk
M: Does that work for you?
R: I guess.
M: What's wrong?
R: Don't take this the wrong way, maybe it's just because you are sick, but it feels like our friendship is fading. You're distant and you never want to do anything.
M: No, that isn't it at all. I'm sorry if you're feeling that way, but when i don't feel well all I want to do is sleep. Everytime you have asked to do something I say yes, but warn you I might not be a lot of fun.
R: It's just odd.
M: Well, I promise we will hang out on Sunday day and I'll be as lively as possible.
R: Fine.
M: If you want I can get as much stuff done as possible on Friday and we can try to figure out something to do.
R: No, you should rest.


I don't understand. He gets upset when I say we can't hang out until Sunday, but refuses when I offer to get together sooner. What does he want me to do? Plus, we don't really do anything! Once in a while we take my car out to some nature place and walk around for 5 minutes. Other times we drive my car to Charlottesville to walk around for 5 minutes. Other times we drive my car to Harrisonburg to walk around for 5 minutes. Occasionally he talks me into taking him to test drive cars. Most times we stop for lunch and/or dinner. We spend the entire day doing that. He doesn't have money right now, so it's me paying for EVERYTHING. He also doesn't have a vehicle, so it's my car driving EVERYWHERE. Yes, we are comfortable with money, but that doesn't mean I need to go crazy. I go through a tank of gas in two days! Not to mention, my grades are slipping because I am always off doing something. Then he has the gall to say I'm distant and making it feel like our friendship is fading. It pisses me off! I rarely ask for payment in return, but this has been going on for about two months! I've bought him cigarettes and food and taken him all sorts of places. I need something in return! Ugh. I feel like I'm over reacting. That comment just really bugged me.

I'm going to go do biology now.

Oh, to end on a positive note, I see Marissa in 9 days!