Say hello to never...

So, I just finished studying for math, and I know if I go to bed now I won't get up for my final. So here I sit.

I'm actually really frustrated and in a bit of a crappy mood. Part of it has to deal with the fact that I am tired of cleaning poo every time I turn around. One of the cats is refusing to use the cat box and has decided that my shower is a perfect place to go. I swear when Alex comes home he is on poo duty.

The other part is that this is just the way I've been. I'm constantly in a crappy mood, and I'm tired of it.

And my mouth hurts.

Bastards.

I feel almost awkward blogging, I haven't done it in so long. But, ehh, I guess you've got to pick up old habits again at some point.

Marissa and I have gotten a lot closer lately. I really like it. Granted, it took things going really badly for us to start talking everyday again, but either way, I'm happy about it. I really missed her. I just wish she could be happy. She has dealt with a lot of bull shit, she deserves a permanent break. Sometimes I wonder if she is too afraid of the happiness ending that it stops her from really embracing it... But then again she has been with a lot of douche nozzles, so maybe it was for the better then. I just hope when the right person comes around she lets go...

Why is there nothing on T.V. at 5:30? Do they think no one is awake?

And why do we always lose the stuff we need, yet never the stuff that is irrelevant?

I lost the card to get my insurance, so I'm kinda mad at myself. However, I did not lose the paper that tells me to follow the directions on the card to begin my enrollment in Tricare since dependents are no longer automatically enrolled. Lovely.

I miss Alex. This will become a common topic, I'm sure. I barely got to be affectionate with him (in any way shape or form), and then they stole him away again. Then I found out that if his tech school decides to be douchey, I'll only get to see him for a couple of days before he is gone again for 15 weeks. Which means he would barely be here for Christmas, and definitely not be here for New Years.

That's what had me so upset. I could handle only having him for a few days because at least I get him at all, but I need him here for New Years. Last year I was a wreck, freaking out all day. Not to mention Sophia was being a queen bitch. I don't know if I can handle being completely alone on that day. At least not without dwelling all day with good chances of slipping up. I hate it, because this one day is all I can think about. I feel so stupid for it. I'm away, I'm okay, it was almost two years ago... I should be fine by now, but I'm not. I'm having nightmares again, which is another reason I decided to stay up until class is over. I just don't want to deal with it. I need a way to skip forward in time. That would be very nice...

Alex is trying to figure something out, but honestly, I don't think it's going to work.

I guess we'll have to wait and see.