I'm so tired of going to bed alone.
I'm so tired of coming home to an empty apartment.
I'm so tired of being by myself.
I want him home.
The stupidest things seem to set me off lately. Like reaching for him in bed because I'm cold. Or locking my keys in the car when he would have the spare. Or thinking I lost his friggin cat. Or being out of signal and missing the text that says "Turn on the phone I want to call you!!!" I hate not knowing what's going on. I get a text one day that says he might only be home for 5 days, another days it's two weeks, and now it might be 3 days. He's sick and won't tell anyone because he is afraid they won't do the blood test, and if that is the case Christmas is practically a dream. So I'm worried, and I'm sick, and I just want a hug from him, or to at least hear his voice. I need to hear his steady calm logic that I pretend to hate. God I miss him...
I feel so out of control and I hate it.
Alright, I'm done complaining.
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